i cannot know

Time spreads your shore with white sand, do you see? Waves of hope after each storm, the inner sea does not forget, only tames memory into experience and longing. How far will you go, my friend? – I would ask, but instead there are dead ends, ascents, and more crossroads ahead. Falling transforms completely. Like a convex water drop on a leaf, it magnifies infinite detail from a small world, so I contemplate within myself, beside the absence. I would still play, still believe there is a reason, I deny it now, but I still want to lift it up to the sky, but perhaps my arm could not bear it. My arm ruptured where I would have rested, and instead of morning, there was no tomorrow. But tell me, without stars and water, why would the air move? A tired, trembling consciousness floating among shadows sifts through thought, hoping I can understand what comes after who I was, what I am today. Perhaps this is all that remains from the flame, and this little bit, I do not know if it’s worth so much useless existence.